I’m a writer by profession, which, as far as job titles go, is fairly vague. If I had to be more specific, I would say I’m a dating, sex, and relationships writer — except that’s exactly the kind of thing that’ll get you left-swiped on a dating app. The truth is, I often wonder how job titles on Tinder affect swiping habits. I’m not comfortable with either of these job titles being displayed on my dating app profile because I have job envy when I swipe.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my job way more than most people would ever care to admit but usually, the only thing people have to go on is a dated Sex and the City reference to the fictional Carrie Bradshaw. Sure, I’m a fan of the TV series and the movies but Carrie’s over-the-top affinity for all things glamour and high-fashion aren’t exactly realistic depictions of what my life is like.
Nevertheless, according to Tinder, adding your job to your profile is a quick and easy way to let potential matches know a little more about you — interests, skills, personality type, and anything else you might be able to discern from this detail. Certain jobs might even increase your chances of getting a match. For example, Tinder revealed that the five most right-swiped jobs for men are pilot, founder or entrepreneur, firefighter, doctor, and radio or TV personality. For women, they are physical therapist, interior designer, founder or entrepreneur, public relations or communications, and teacher. Presumably, writing would fall under PR or communications so I’m not at a total disadvantage but I still have my reservations.
I always pay attention to someone’s listed job and education history and yes, it affects my swiping. I admire someone who’s start-up is college tutoring or who’s just graduated from law school — two actual job titles of people I’ve recently matched with. True or not, both titles give me a sense of their character, ambitions, and interests, which allow me to roughly assess whether or not we would be compatible.
So, what do potential matches think of my job? That it’s abstract? Undefined? Frivolous? I’m not sure. To be fair, no one has ever implied this so my insecurities are largely my own but they do ask questions. If anything, the vagueness of my job title is a great conversation starter — an opening, an in that they readily use to their advantage. I don’t mind because, truthfully, no one knows how to strike up a casual conversation on dating apps and no, it’s not, “Let’s tell people we met at the grocery store, instead.”
No matter how much more admirable I think my matches’ jobs are than my own, they always seem more interested in talking about mine. That’s not a humble brag — just an observation and a reassurance that job envy on dating apps is totally unnecessary but probably a lot more common than we’d like to admit. It’s easy to question your passion or talent for something when you’ve convinced yourself that everyone else around you is off doing bigger and better things. It’s the same reason why some people claim Facebook makes them feel badly about themselves.
The next time someone’s wildly impressive job title on Tinder makes you think twice about swiping right, remember that you’re probably not the only one doubting their worth based on silly, online comparisons with total strangers. Only you know what you bring to the table (or bar if you prefer drinks dates). Own it and swipe with confidence!